GUEST BLOG: Nick Davies - Coping with a lockdown break-up

GUEST BLOG: Nick Davies - Coping with a lockdown break-up

As we approach Valentines Day, being single, or worse, having to cope with a "Lockdown Break-Up" over the last year or so can be really hard to cope with. 

People often don’t associate mental health issues with relationship break-ups as it’s often assumed that we’ll all feel sad for a while until it goes and we’re okay again.


What they don’t know are the levels of pain and addiction withdrawal we can be subjected to that can make us feel life is hopeless. It was alleged in certain media outlets that charismatic US TV’s celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain took his own life in his hotel after seeing some photos of Asia Argento with another guy, who he was alleged to be “crazy” in love with.



Emotional pain can be as bad as physical pain. A study by cognitive neuroscientists in Columbia discovered after comparing responses in fMRI scans from physical pain (being exposed to a hot probe on their arm) and seeing pictures of exes after unwanted breakups versus control pictures of their friends. Another study that included 15 people after unwanted breakups by Helen Fisher and Lucy Brown found that when shown pictures of their exes the motivation and reward system in their brain (including the ventral tegmental (VTA) area, the ventral striatum, and the nucleus accumbens that are responsible for producing dopamine) lit up, showing it’s highly likely we can develop an addiction to people as well.


Also, we’ve found that some breakups are so bad they can actually create a trauma akin to PTSD which rarely lessens without treatment, part of the problem is the thalamus becomes highly sensitised and affects the right lateral amygdala creating a feeling of panic. 


If any of this resonates with you, the good news is I've created a free treatment to help you lessen this by stimulating both hemispheres of your brain to speed up the processing, detailed below. 


Read all the way through before doing for real.



BLAST Technique®  “Psychosensory” Self-Care Protocol: 


1)                 Sit back in a comfortable chair with your arms and legs uncrossed, take a few moments to relax with the thoughts, feelings and/or emotions before you begin and assess how you feel, maybe making some notes.


2)                 Now write down your significant level of discomfort (SUD) from zero to ten (zero being no discomfort and ten being the worst you can imagine).


3)                 Be aware of your feelings during each step, but don’t force them in or push them out, relax and allow them to be there.


4)                 Stroke your forehead above each eyebrow away from the middle of your forehead 10 times each, counting out loud (optional)
5)                 Now stroke under your eyes from your nose 10 times each, counting out loud (optional)
6)                 Circle your temples with your fingers 5 times clockwise and 5 times anticlockwise, counting out loud (optional)
7)                 Now stroke your neck from the back to the front using both hands 10 times, counting out loud (optional)
8)                 Put your hands on the top of alternate shoulders (crossing arms) and stroke across to the top of your chest 10 times (counting out loud optional).
9)                 Then keeping your head still look to your left, then right, 10 times each.
10)             Now take a nice diaphragmatic breath whilst saying to yourself slowly “I’m okay”.
11)             Assess and write down your significant level of discomfort (SUD) between zero and ten.
12)             Repeat the process until you have the result you require.


If you want to learn more about BLAST® go here for details, if you'd like to find out more about me and my therapy services here is my website


Be well, 


About Nick Davies 


Nick is a media-friendly international psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, sports performance mind coach, trainer and speaker. Known as "The PTSD Whisperer" because of his specialism in treating trauma quickly and permanently.  To see how Nick creates rapid positive change, visit and (sports performance)."


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